...til we meet again

I have learned two very valuable lessons this week.

1. it is much easier to move away from your parents than it is to have them move away from you.
2. strength is not something you have. it is something you're blessed with from God.

I do not remember the last time I have shed so many tears. Yesterday was a very long and emotional day. My heart has been cracking and splintering every hour.

There have been many thing in my life that have been difficult to bear. Being barren has certainly been at the top of that list. But the Lord heard my cries and bore the sorrow of my heart with me. He sent me a balm of Gilead in the form of Madi and jack. I have fallen short of being a good mother to them in many ways. But I do love them. If I didn't I could never have made it through yesterday. They, and Jeff, are the only anchors I have left here.

Yesterday we packed up everything my parents own and loaded them into a Uhaul and they drove away with my heart. Many have born harder burdens than mine. I know this. And yet, the Lord still has blessed me with comfort and strength time and time again including this weekend so that I can make it through.

And although I cried yesterday, and I'm still crying today and will miss my parents with the very core of who I am I know that we are an eternal family. I know the Lord loves me and will never leave me. I know this and because I know this my faith in Christ will see me through this heartache.

Today is another day. Tomorrow will come. So i will wipe my eyes... again... take a deep breath, and endure this new challenge the best I can.

I love you mom and dad. I love you so much! Thank you for leaving me with such a strong testimony of the love of my Savior so I am not ever really alone. This is the greatest gift you have ever given me. It is the perfect heirloom. And I will keep it dusted, polished, and the centerpiece of my home.... until we meet again...